ok so after 3+ years I decided to leave my Ex, after multiple lies and fights and unsettled arguments I decided it was no longer a healthy relationship. She did not support my goals nor did she have any of her own. My Question is, now its been about 3 weeks, she has contacted me a few times telling me she misses me and would rather fight and stay together than be alone(which i perceived as a pretty selfish statement because she was only concerned about how she was feeling) but anyways she went on to tell me how she cant picture her life without me and how she misses me. Yet to her friends and in her myspace(which i should have never looked at) She claims to love the single life and living alone and just projects this complete opposite person that i have no clue about, its like a totally different person I never knew. She totally contradicts everything she said to me. now I know I do not want to be back with her, But why do I find myself angry at the fact that she is portraying herself just the opposite of what she tells me. Ive ignored her and never responded. But is being angry about this a normal phase in the breakup? why would someone do that? Why does it bother me? I don't know maybe someone else has some insight or has experienced this themselves. Any help is appreciated.Why am I so angry with my Ex if I left?
Remember - it is better to have loved and lost than to end up married to the b*tch.Why am I so angry with my Ex if I left?
Your angry because of the person she is. You could have had a successful marriage if she had a better character but she doesn't so you have every right to be angry. You were once a vital part of this persons life and she has betrayed you by lying. I'd be angry too it doesn't mean you want to be with her.
she sounds devasted and lost. if she didnt even have any goals of her own im guessing you summed up most of her life. nobody wants to be the one left behind. she's pretending to be happy to save face, she got burned. look at her with some empathy, it should ease some of your anger. she's the one who got told - ';i dont want you anymore';
Piggy...haha
Yes its normal. Its like any trauma. you go through stages. anger, acceptance, sadness, forgiveness.
My motto always has been to tell people around me i dont want to hear about it. i dont want to see the person. let me heal. Thats the best way to get through it the quickest.
Your angry because she forced you to make a decision you didn't want to ever have to make. Don't believe anything you see or read on myspace. That was designed for liars and teenyboppers
She probably wants people to think shes happy. Maybe she's embarrassed that she misses you. Dont automatically think shes just lying to you
She was a disappointment to you, that's why your so mad. Get over it and move on.
you lost me at 'myspace'.
sorry.
People are selfish, especially immature people. Its obvious that she has a LOT of growing up left to do, and is afraid to face the fact that she dose. Its ok to be angry, to be hurt and frustrated by what she did. There isn't much closer to what happened, from what you said, and maintaining a open line of communication can make things harder (from my experience) but there is nothing wrong with that. Its very honorable of you to talk to her. I'd say to just give you some time, its only been three weeks and it sounds like you gave up a lot of yourself into the relationship, you are going to be angry and hurt it will take time to heal. How much time? Who knows. Maybe tell her you need time for yourself, and that she shouldn't call you for awhile. Then just concentrate on you, and your life. Enjoy the small things, take a walk outside, and heal. Its the best medication.
You may still care, to a certain extent.......OR you're angry with yourself for allowing her to push your buttons. I would be inclined to believe the latter. Ego wounds are as fatal as bodily woulds. She's basically lying, since she's portraying two complete opposite outlooks. You've made the absolute best decision by leaving her in the past with no continued contact. FORTUNATELY, there's no child to keep you ';attached'; to her. Best Wishes......
My ex was the same, telling me they loved me and wanted me back yet saying all these horrible things about me to their friends and that they were glad to be shot of me blah blah blah. I did get angry but then I realised they had to lie to try and validate themselves, they were either lying to me by saying loved me etc because if I came back it would validate them or they were lying to their friends saying horrible things to make their friends back them up and validate them.
Either way don't be mad just see your ex for the pathetic individual that she is.
Okay so I think you maybe feeling angry with her because you spend three years of your life with her, and you wouldn't expect someone like that to lie to you like this. I think it maybe a bit normal but at the same time it also maybe best that you forget about her, and let her play this double roll. Because if she is willing to take the time to tell you all this crap, and then go behind your back, and tell her friend all the other crap, I honestly don't think anyone who does this is worth anyone's time.
Hope this helps, good luck.
