ok so after 3+ years I decided to leave my Ex, after multiple lies and fights and unsettled arguments I decided it was no longer a healthy relationship. She did not support my goals nor did she have any of her own. My Question is, now its been about 3 weeks, she has contacted me a few times telling me she misses me and would rather fight and stay together than be alone(which i perceived as a pretty selfish statement because she was only concerned about how she was feeling) but anyways she went on to tell me how she cant picture her life without me and how she misses me. Yet to her friends and in her myspace(which i should have never looked at) She claims to love the single life and living alone and just projects this complete opposite person that i have no clue about, its like a totally different person I never knew. She totally contradicts everything she said to me. now I know I do not want to be back with her, But why do I find myself angry at the fact that she is portraying herself just the opposite of what she tells me. Ive ignored her and never responded. But is being angry about this a normal phase in the breakup? why would someone do that? Why does it bother me? I don't know maybe someone else has some insight or has experienced this themselves. Any help is appreciated.Why am I so angry with my Ex if I left?
Remember - it is better to have loved and lost than to end up married to the b*tch.Why am I so angry with my Ex if I left?
Your angry because of the person she is. You could have had a successful marriage if she had a better character but she doesn't so you have every right to be angry. You were once a vital part of this persons life and she has betrayed you by lying. I'd be angry too it doesn't mean you want to be with her.
she sounds devasted and lost. if she didnt even have any goals of her own im guessing you summed up most of her life. nobody wants to be the one left behind. she's pretending to be happy to save face, she got burned. look at her with some empathy, it should ease some of your anger. she's the one who got told - ';i dont want you anymore';
Piggy...haha
Yes its normal. Its like any trauma. you go through stages. anger, acceptance, sadness, forgiveness.
My motto always has been to tell people around me i dont want to hear about it. i dont want to see the person. let me heal. Thats the best way to get through it the quickest.
Your angry because she forced you to make a decision you didn't want to ever have to make. Don't believe anything you see or read on myspace. That was designed for liars and teenyboppers
She probably wants people to think shes happy. Maybe she's embarrassed that she misses you. Dont automatically think shes just lying to you
She was a disappointment to you, that's why your so mad. Get over it and move on.
you lost me at 'myspace'.
sorry.
People are selfish, especially immature people. Its obvious that she has a LOT of growing up left to do, and is afraid to face the fact that she dose. Its ok to be angry, to be hurt and frustrated by what she did. There isn't much closer to what happened, from what you said, and maintaining a open line of communication can make things harder (from my experience) but there is nothing wrong with that. Its very honorable of you to talk to her. I'd say to just give you some time, its only been three weeks and it sounds like you gave up a lot of yourself into the relationship, you are going to be angry and hurt it will take time to heal. How much time? Who knows. Maybe tell her you need time for yourself, and that she shouldn't call you for awhile. Then just concentrate on you, and your life. Enjoy the small things, take a walk outside, and heal. Its the best medication.
You may still care, to a certain extent.......OR you're angry with yourself for allowing her to push your buttons. I would be inclined to believe the latter. Ego wounds are as fatal as bodily woulds. She's basically lying, since she's portraying two complete opposite outlooks. You've made the absolute best decision by leaving her in the past with no continued contact. FORTUNATELY, there's no child to keep you ';attached'; to her. Best Wishes......
My ex was the same, telling me they loved me and wanted me back yet saying all these horrible things about me to their friends and that they were glad to be shot of me blah blah blah. I did get angry but then I realised they had to lie to try and validate themselves, they were either lying to me by saying loved me etc because if I came back it would validate them or they were lying to their friends saying horrible things to make their friends back them up and validate them.
Either way don't be mad just see your ex for the pathetic individual that she is.
Okay so I think you maybe feeling angry with her because you spend three years of your life with her, and you wouldn't expect someone like that to lie to you like this. I think it maybe a bit normal but at the same time it also maybe best that you forget about her, and let her play this double roll. Because if she is willing to take the time to tell you all this crap, and then go behind your back, and tell her friend all the other crap, I honestly don't think anyone who does this is worth anyone's time.
Hope this helps, good luck.
Friday, August 20, 2010
10pts for a good answer, ex questions..?
she dumped me over text, said she met someone...... i ask to talk ,she says na im ok thanks....this was 5 weeks ago, and i havent tried to contact her and she hasnt either...
we had JUST got back together, and she was saying how we are meant to be, and that she is so incredibly happy and how she wants to make love to me and be with me, how she cant wait to come home and stay with me, (she is in cali, im in ohio) she is coming home beginning of march
so i tell her ill fly out to see her, and stay with her, drive back with her ( i have a month off, so i am able to do this) the day after we get back together, i buy a ticket to fly out... but then find out there is an issue with my tax refund, so i tell her i cant come, even tho i already told her id be there that night....
she doesnt act mad, but attitude kind of changes, like she closes up ....then the text breakup about meeting someone....
she was so prepared to be with me, cause had i came out, we were going to stay together for the rest of the time in cali, and then come back to ohio and stay together....
why did she do this? anger? disappointment? cold feet?
we were together for over a year, long distance for 8 months.. and it was finally ending...another note... she seems to have been developing deep self esteem issues, that may be manifesting itself as an eating disorder, if that helps at all10pts for a good answer, ex questions..?
I agree with Tila. Long distance relationships tend not to work, especially if you're continuing a relationship that wasn't long distance in the first place. It takes a lot of dedication, and more often than not, only one of the people has it. This happens. It seems like she was already with someone new and she was going to tell you when you came out. But she just went on and told you because you weren't coming.10pts for a good answer, ex questions..?
I think that she may be having a hard time with the long distanc relationship. IF she does really love you, maybe you not being able to fly over that night disappointed her maybe she is a litle upset about it.
IF she feels less connected to you and did meet someone else, maybe the long distance thing isn't working.
Ask her if you two can talk about this as adults.
she probably did find someone else...probably didn't work out and now she's back. Dont fall for it.
we had JUST got back together, and she was saying how we are meant to be, and that she is so incredibly happy and how she wants to make love to me and be with me, how she cant wait to come home and stay with me, (she is in cali, im in ohio) she is coming home beginning of march
so i tell her ill fly out to see her, and stay with her, drive back with her ( i have a month off, so i am able to do this) the day after we get back together, i buy a ticket to fly out... but then find out there is an issue with my tax refund, so i tell her i cant come, even tho i already told her id be there that night....
she doesnt act mad, but attitude kind of changes, like she closes up ....then the text breakup about meeting someone....
she was so prepared to be with me, cause had i came out, we were going to stay together for the rest of the time in cali, and then come back to ohio and stay together....
why did she do this? anger? disappointment? cold feet?
we were together for over a year, long distance for 8 months.. and it was finally ending...another note... she seems to have been developing deep self esteem issues, that may be manifesting itself as an eating disorder, if that helps at all10pts for a good answer, ex questions..?
I agree with Tila. Long distance relationships tend not to work, especially if you're continuing a relationship that wasn't long distance in the first place. It takes a lot of dedication, and more often than not, only one of the people has it. This happens. It seems like she was already with someone new and she was going to tell you when you came out. But she just went on and told you because you weren't coming.10pts for a good answer, ex questions..?
I think that she may be having a hard time with the long distanc relationship. IF she does really love you, maybe you not being able to fly over that night disappointed her maybe she is a litle upset about it.
IF she feels less connected to you and did meet someone else, maybe the long distance thing isn't working.
Ask her if you two can talk about this as adults.
she probably did find someone else...probably didn't work out and now she's back. Dont fall for it.
Confused and hurt regarding my ex Girlfriend... Help?
ok its a long story but here it goes.
My ex and i dated for about 6 months. Things were going really strong up until about a week before our breakup. She said the spark between us was no longer there and she dumped me in early november. We agreed to be friends. About a week after our breakup i met someone else. a long time friend of mine started flirting and hitting on me. Well my ex got to like that and told me she still liked me and that she was jealous. Well my feelings basically poured out of my mouth. I still liked her and after telling her how i felt she thought it was sweet but she said she wanted to wait. So we did She began talking to me and flirting a lot after this Then she started flirting around with this other guy which hurt me a lot. so i went off on a date with a new girl (by this time the old new girl is out of the picture with her own bf, still good friends with me though) and it didnt go great so i thought nothing of it and moved on past that. Well along comes my ex again and she wanted to hang out. She liked the new guy she was talking but things didnt go so well and they never got together. So now shes back talking to me and saying how much she likes me. I eagerly say that i liked her back and then as soon as i said that she stopped the flirting. Then after a month or so she suddenly came back outta knowhere flirting with me again. I told her she was worth more than anything to me. She said awww thanks babe but she also said she wasnt ready for relationship right now. So about four days later she starts flirtin it up with another new guy. I really felt like she was leading me on that entire time and never wanted me back but at other times i think it was real because her friends said she talked about me a lot at times. Idk wat to think, wat to do,, or what to feel. I love this girl and shes the only person i really want in my life right now and i havent gone a day without thinking about her since the day we met. It hurts so much to see her flirting with other guys but i want her to be happy. We still talk to eachother as friends but i wanna be so muuch more. i want things back to the way they were.
advice please?Confused and hurt regarding my ex Girlfriend... Help?
You don't have much to lose by telling her that she is hurting you. I would tell her how you really feel about the whole situation, and see what she says. If she wants you back..for real, then take her back. But if she still says that she is not ready for a relationship, then I think you need to try to cut ties with her. She is causing you too much pain, and it is not good. You need a girl in your life that will make you happy all of the time. I really hope things work out for you. God Bless :)Confused and hurt regarding my ex Girlfriend... Help?
i had this exact same problem. bad news is, it took me almost a year to figure out he was leading me on. good news, when i did finally figure it out, i had the upper hand, %26amp; he COULDN'T stand it. but for me, it felt SO good lol because finally HE knew what it felt like to be treated like that.
%26amp; you're exactly right, she's just leading you on. but it's up to YOU to realize that you deserve better, that you don't need to put up with that anymore. yeah, trying to move on IS going to hurt - it's been almost six months since i realized i deserved better %26amp; decided to move on %26amp; it STILL hurts me to this day. BUT, i STILL have that upper hand, he STILL can't stand it, %26amp; it STILL feels so good LOL.
%26amp; wonce you realized you deserve better %26amp; you make the effort to move on, something better WILL come - it did for me :)
hope i helped! :)
My ex and i dated for about 6 months. Things were going really strong up until about a week before our breakup. She said the spark between us was no longer there and she dumped me in early november. We agreed to be friends. About a week after our breakup i met someone else. a long time friend of mine started flirting and hitting on me. Well my ex got to like that and told me she still liked me and that she was jealous. Well my feelings basically poured out of my mouth. I still liked her and after telling her how i felt she thought it was sweet but she said she wanted to wait. So we did She began talking to me and flirting a lot after this Then she started flirting around with this other guy which hurt me a lot. so i went off on a date with a new girl (by this time the old new girl is out of the picture with her own bf, still good friends with me though) and it didnt go great so i thought nothing of it and moved on past that. Well along comes my ex again and she wanted to hang out. She liked the new guy she was talking but things didnt go so well and they never got together. So now shes back talking to me and saying how much she likes me. I eagerly say that i liked her back and then as soon as i said that she stopped the flirting. Then after a month or so she suddenly came back outta knowhere flirting with me again. I told her she was worth more than anything to me. She said awww thanks babe but she also said she wasnt ready for relationship right now. So about four days later she starts flirtin it up with another new guy. I really felt like she was leading me on that entire time and never wanted me back but at other times i think it was real because her friends said she talked about me a lot at times. Idk wat to think, wat to do,, or what to feel. I love this girl and shes the only person i really want in my life right now and i havent gone a day without thinking about her since the day we met. It hurts so much to see her flirting with other guys but i want her to be happy. We still talk to eachother as friends but i wanna be so muuch more. i want things back to the way they were.
advice please?Confused and hurt regarding my ex Girlfriend... Help?
You don't have much to lose by telling her that she is hurting you. I would tell her how you really feel about the whole situation, and see what she says. If she wants you back..for real, then take her back. But if she still says that she is not ready for a relationship, then I think you need to try to cut ties with her. She is causing you too much pain, and it is not good. You need a girl in your life that will make you happy all of the time. I really hope things work out for you. God Bless :)Confused and hurt regarding my ex Girlfriend... Help?
i had this exact same problem. bad news is, it took me almost a year to figure out he was leading me on. good news, when i did finally figure it out, i had the upper hand, %26amp; he COULDN'T stand it. but for me, it felt SO good lol because finally HE knew what it felt like to be treated like that.
%26amp; you're exactly right, she's just leading you on. but it's up to YOU to realize that you deserve better, that you don't need to put up with that anymore. yeah, trying to move on IS going to hurt - it's been almost six months since i realized i deserved better %26amp; decided to move on %26amp; it STILL hurts me to this day. BUT, i STILL have that upper hand, he STILL can't stand it, %26amp; it STILL feels so good LOL.
%26amp; wonce you realized you deserve better %26amp; you make the effort to move on, something better WILL come - it did for me :)
hope i helped! :)
I am heartbroken?
I am so heartbroken. I went out with a guy I met on Craig's List for a year. I fell totally in love with him. He acted totally in love with me too, but said he didn't love me at all. We had so much fun together, and every minute seemed perfect to me. I guess not to him. We finally broke up, in this awful, ugly, breakup. How does someone stay with you for a year, and not have feelings for you, yet act like they totally do?
Now, he is advertising in all the nearby cities for someone on craig's list. Our final breakup was two weeks ago. He even advertised in my town, asking for a relationship, exactly like ours.
The last round we had, I wrote him, told him I really missed him. He wrote back, and said he sat in our favorite resturant waiting for me to show up. He came over, and spent 24 blissful hours with me. Then he said he had no intention of being in a relationship with me.
The crazy thing is that we are both 55. Not exactly babies.
I can't stop thinking about him.I am heartbroken?
I'm sorry but I think he's not worth it. Just the fact that he's tricking you into thinking that he likes you and then throwing it out the door is proof enough. Besides, guys are sooo confusing and have the disgusting habit of playing with girls' emotions and twisting their minds, when they don't even know it cause they can be soo stuuuupidd. I know you can't stop thinking about him, but please try. You'll drive yourself crazy. BUT if he comes back to you seeming pretty sincere about you and wanting to be together, don't believe him. Everytime you think of him pinch yourself and start doing something to distract you. That's what I do if it happened to me. Stay strong.I am heartbroken?
He is a playah.
You don't need a man to fulfill your life. You can be alone without being lonely. I understand heartbreak, but if he was married for 22 years and never felt love, it's likely that he has mental issues that you aren't going to be able to fix.
Get some hobbies, some good friends. Volunteer somewhere. When I get older I plan to use my free time volunteering at an animal shelter, making a difference.
Just stay away from him, or you'll be setting yourself up for another heartbreak.
Good luck.
Wow, I dont even know what to say i feel so bad for you! The guy sounds like a sociopath who is only capable of loving himself and is indifferent to everyone else. My dad is the same way. I know you didnt ask for advice but I would say to get over this weirdo ASAP and move on, and learn how to be happy with yourself again.
It sounds like you just want to be in a relationship for the fear of being alone. I know that must be hard for you but you need to get your confidence back. You shouldn't give and give and give because men you attact that way are men who are not good people. They are the men that just use woman to get a roof over their head or free goodies. You should sign up for match.com or eharmony.com so you can get your likely matches. craiglist.org is more like booty call things. On those other dating websites you meet people that have the same interests as you and you might meet more people that way. It sucks to get your heart broken. I am sorry for that but please just get some confidence and don't settle for 2nd best. You deserve better and someone to love you. Being alone is a scary thing to do, but sometimes it is better than being unhappy or getting used.
Now, he is advertising in all the nearby cities for someone on craig's list. Our final breakup was two weeks ago. He even advertised in my town, asking for a relationship, exactly like ours.
The last round we had, I wrote him, told him I really missed him. He wrote back, and said he sat in our favorite resturant waiting for me to show up. He came over, and spent 24 blissful hours with me. Then he said he had no intention of being in a relationship with me.
The crazy thing is that we are both 55. Not exactly babies.
I can't stop thinking about him.I am heartbroken?
I'm sorry but I think he's not worth it. Just the fact that he's tricking you into thinking that he likes you and then throwing it out the door is proof enough. Besides, guys are sooo confusing and have the disgusting habit of playing with girls' emotions and twisting their minds, when they don't even know it cause they can be soo stuuuupidd. I know you can't stop thinking about him, but please try. You'll drive yourself crazy. BUT if he comes back to you seeming pretty sincere about you and wanting to be together, don't believe him. Everytime you think of him pinch yourself and start doing something to distract you. That's what I do if it happened to me. Stay strong.I am heartbroken?
He is a playah.
You don't need a man to fulfill your life. You can be alone without being lonely. I understand heartbreak, but if he was married for 22 years and never felt love, it's likely that he has mental issues that you aren't going to be able to fix.
Get some hobbies, some good friends. Volunteer somewhere. When I get older I plan to use my free time volunteering at an animal shelter, making a difference.
Just stay away from him, or you'll be setting yourself up for another heartbreak.
Good luck.
Wow, I dont even know what to say i feel so bad for you! The guy sounds like a sociopath who is only capable of loving himself and is indifferent to everyone else. My dad is the same way. I know you didnt ask for advice but I would say to get over this weirdo ASAP and move on, and learn how to be happy with yourself again.
It sounds like you just want to be in a relationship for the fear of being alone. I know that must be hard for you but you need to get your confidence back. You shouldn't give and give and give because men you attact that way are men who are not good people. They are the men that just use woman to get a roof over their head or free goodies. You should sign up for match.com or eharmony.com so you can get your likely matches. craiglist.org is more like booty call things. On those other dating websites you meet people that have the same interests as you and you might meet more people that way. It sucks to get your heart broken. I am sorry for that but please just get some confidence and don't settle for 2nd best. You deserve better and someone to love you. Being alone is a scary thing to do, but sometimes it is better than being unhappy or getting used.
Breakups Sux!! Big Time!!* SomeONe Help Me!!?
Hey!*
i was dating this guy, that i really liked! Lets Call Him [[tater]]* [[codename]] Then this other guy asked me out, Lets call him [[Tot]]*[[codename]] and i broke up with [Tater] to go out with [Tot] Because I thought i liked [Tot] better. but it turns out i dont! so i broke up with [Tot] and now i dont have either!! But [Tater], didnt know i went out with [Tot]* I really want [Tater] back* what should i do?? How do i tell him?? Please help*Breakups Sux!! Big Time!!* SomeONe Help Me!!?
dear god thats cofusing just tell him what happoned and apologize........Breakups Sux!! Big Time!!* SomeONe Help Me!!?
Set the oven to 350 degrees, cook for 10-14 minutes, and hook up with [[ketchup]]! :)
Welcome to dumpsville, population YOU!
Learn that lesson quick and keep it in mind the next time you're dating [ham] and [burger] winks atcha. ;)
Love is love and sex is sex-- they're never one in the same.
maybe you should take some time to grow up. playing games is the worst thing to do when you really care about someone. it seems like the only reason you want ';tater'; back is because now you're alone. learn to deal with being alone so you dont become overly co-dependent.
i was dating this guy, that i really liked! Lets Call Him [[tater]]* [[codename]] Then this other guy asked me out, Lets call him [[Tot]]*[[codename]] and i broke up with [Tater] to go out with [Tot] Because I thought i liked [Tot] better. but it turns out i dont! so i broke up with [Tot] and now i dont have either!! But [Tater], didnt know i went out with [Tot]* I really want [Tater] back* what should i do?? How do i tell him?? Please help*Breakups Sux!! Big Time!!* SomeONe Help Me!!?
dear god thats cofusing just tell him what happoned and apologize........Breakups Sux!! Big Time!!* SomeONe Help Me!!?
Set the oven to 350 degrees, cook for 10-14 minutes, and hook up with [[ketchup]]! :)
Welcome to dumpsville, population YOU!
Learn that lesson quick and keep it in mind the next time you're dating [ham] and [burger] winks atcha. ;)
Love is love and sex is sex-- they're never one in the same.
maybe you should take some time to grow up. playing games is the worst thing to do when you really care about someone. it seems like the only reason you want ';tater'; back is because now you're alone. learn to deal with being alone so you dont become overly co-dependent.
Could it really be Nine months?
Details: No big breakup, just liked someone alittle too much who didn't feel the same about me and went through something else but... I'm ready now...I think. When in the past I've been out on a date...I think I drive the man a little crazy. I dont mean too, honest. sex is something really sacred to me and yes I have had one yes only one one night stand. I think sex is so special that it shouldn't just be given to anyone. I feel guilty for giving it to someone I didn't know and to this day I don't understand why it happened or why i allowed it to happen. This might sound crazy but I have never understood how people can just F*** each other without anything special being there. I haven't had alot of partners in my life but Im so okay with that because I have morals and I can wake up in the morning and know Im a good person. And yes I dont think of you as a good person that goes around and just f**** every skirt u can get ur hands on. BTW I could get laid everynite I choose NOT TO!!!!!!!Could it really be Nine months?
I agree with you...Could it really be Nine months?
...good...be proud your a good person and leave the poor sluts alone. Although I agree with you I don't see the point of posting here, you're not going to change anyones opinion, just wasting peoples time by writing this.
Thats because your a true and honest girl. Leave the F...iig to those others .I would rather go with a girl nine months and get nothing than to have one night stands .(Mick)
and your point is?
I agree with you...Could it really be Nine months?
...good...be proud your a good person and leave the poor sluts alone. Although I agree with you I don't see the point of posting here, you're not going to change anyones opinion, just wasting peoples time by writing this.
Thats because your a true and honest girl. Leave the F...iig to those others .I would rather go with a girl nine months and get nothing than to have one night stands .(Mick)
and your point is?
It's me again and i need more help?
first thing is to say thank you to all of you that reply to my post,
but i saw that most of you said that i have very lowself esteem and i need to get help for this.
how can i get a self help on this and how do i get others to help me to for free.i am a low income and cann't afford to pay someone to help me with this,is there anyone that can help me get through this some how.
i thank you all again over and over and hope to get the right help soon.i don't like feeling this way,i feel i need him to make it and i should know better then that but then you don't have it to live and thats all you have,i'm getting deeper in that low spot,can someone please help me.
i'm 45 and need to be lifted up and find some kind of good in my self and hope for me.
i'm afraied of being alone and don't know if i can do it,if we breakup for good.
someone talk to me.It's me again and i need more help?
I have what I call a pity-party. I only allow myself a certain amount of time, and then I make myself get up and do something.. Dry those tears, and go to the local library, there is lots of good books dealing with low self esteem. Check you out a couple of them. You can live without this man, I am not going to tell you it will be easy, but you can....so, what if you are 45. I am 44, and fixing to be single again, and I know how hard it is. I also know how scared you are. I have been with this man for 27 years, I thought I couldn't breath without him, but you know what I can-and I will. Just like you are! You sound like a wonderful caring person, and I wished you lived near by, and I would kick you in the butt, because that is what my friend did to me. Yes, I gave up, thought of suicide the works, and you know what-no man is worth it....I decided I would be better alone, then sit there and let him rip my heart anymore. I have some good friends and I hope one day I can find a man who will make me forget and love me like I will him. We all deserve that-and that includes you!
So, call a friend, get dressed up and go have a coke or coffee with them. Check into going back to school, you can get grants, and it wouldn't cost you a dime. Join a club. I started taking dance lessons at a local bar, and I am enjoying it. It's free, and I have met some very nice people. It's so scarey till I was shaking, but I am doing it. I have bad days, but I can quarntee you it gets better. I hope he will help you, but if he doesn't want to work at the relationship-then tell him to take a walk. I wish you well, and I will be praying that you find the strength and the courage that you need...still wished you lived next door, because honey I definitely would give you a ear full.....God bless...It's me again and i need more help?
Honey, my pleasure, hope things are looking good now!
You are contemplating on having cosmetic surgery and paying thousands of dollars for a doctor, but can't afford a shrink? You must be kidding me!?
Your insurance should cover any therapist/psychologist visits. Call your insurance and ask them what's covered and how much the copayment is.
Alone??? With so many millions of people on this planet, ALONE is a matter of perception, a false one at that. Honey, listen! You do NOT need him AND you CAN survive without him. How can you get help? Start by helping yourself. No money required! find a good church, join a good support group, start one for that matter. I said this to someone earlier and I will now say it to you. How people feel about themselves and how others feel about them is all opinion. Where there is one person who thinks of you and treats you one way, there are thousands of untold others who will treat you better. If one person thinks another is better than you, a hundred others will think YOU are the diamond in the rough. You do NOT need this person! NOT when there are so many others out there that will be a thousand times better for you than that! The point is that ONE person does NOT make you who and what you are! YOU DO!!!!! To hades with him! Get out and start over. YOU CAN DO THAT! Yo have options. talk to a clergyman and call around to see what kind of housing options you have. Income based would work until you are on your OWN feet. Start with one thing at a time. YOU CAN do this without him. Surround yourself in friends and a good socail network, like church friends. Change your thinking. YOU have this situation, the SITUATION DOES NOT have YOU! If I can help, I will! If you need a positive friend, you found one! Feel free to e-mail me anytime. s_ransom_2006@yahoo.com! I'm willing to talk and listen and help if I can! God bless and best wishes! good luck!
sometimes it hurts before it feels better, It is going to hurt no matter what. God will never give you more than you can handle. Hold your head up and own the world.. You can make it without someone by your side 24/7. It is called being dependent on yourself. Learn to love yourself, make a list of good things about yourself and go from there. Again, get in touch with you and who you are, If you feel that you can not live without this person, what are you saying about yourself? That you are worthless, that no one will care?? Seriously, no man is worth that, Nobody is worth that, I have been in some pretty low places myself, You DO have the inner strength to pull out of this it will take some time and some SERIOUS PATIENCE with yourself. You will be okay... Everything you do from now on just do it for you... Be selfish for once... Pamper yourself... Look forward to the future not yesterday it is gone and there is nothing you can do to get it back...
Dr. Laura is awesome... you can listen to her on the radio.
However, I personally believe that anything YOU want, you can achieve. Don't rely on others to fulfill your goals and ambitions.
What is your ideal of a confident, secure person with high self-esteem? Do they walk with their heads up, look others in the eyes, smile big when they meet others, shake hands, say what is on their mind, ask for the things they want?
You are no different then the people that act in this manner. Just go out %26amp; do these things. When you are at the grocery store, talk to people... look them in the eye. The more you do these things, the more comfortable you will become, and these actions will become second nature to you.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Don't settle for less. This works in everything from ordering at McDonald's to looking for Mr. Right.
Good luck %26amp; God bless!
Call Dr. Laura or she has tons of good books out
I don't know what your situation is. I feel for you just reading what I did. There are alot of state places that will help you but and this is my opinion there are alot of sites on the web that you can talk to people who are going through what you are. YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE YOU ARE OKAY .Please believe that
Go on a dating site a bar and find a guy dont be with someone elses you know how that would make you feel if your man was cheating dont do it and love will find you. Trust me
You need to go to church, pray ,and fast and assk the lord to guide your steps. remember the footsteps when only one set of footprints were in the sand ? The lord was carrying you and he will again if you put all your faith in him. do not worry about what is or is not beacuse he will not leave yu alone, even when you feel like you are. All you need is faith the size of amustard seed. I can tell yu from experience. The only man you need is GOD Trust and believe. If you have insurance call and ask them for participating counselors and make an app. all you should have to pay is the co-pay for a specialist. that is what i am doing myself right now.Or if you belong to a church make an appointment to see the pastor and talk with him as well.
sweetie you need to stay in prayer and ask for guidance. he will never lead you astray. Then again I am always an e-mail away. try all three.
Good Luck Nad God bless
Charise
That's hard. i've been married for three years and I just now came to the conclusion that if he left I 'd be okay. Well atleast I think so. IM me at marieandlucaspape and tell me more about your situation.
Hi denise,
my cousin paid 3900 dollars in all--for her tummy tuck.it included her 18 day stay also in a deluxe room.
sorry for the delayed reply---you had sent me a mail about this
best wishes
you are a troubled young ladie for sure.I'am 68 and have been around a lot.I really think you need to talk to your doctor or pastor.If you are depressed, they can and will help.you have my E-mail address if you need to talk to a Friend I will be here for you.
I'm not a dirty old man I could be your Friend.Jerry
i tried to help u out but u dient listen to me
I have really low self esteem too. Exercise (and a new outfit every now and then) really helps!! Exercise every single day! If you have really low self esteem and don't want people watching you exercising then go hiking ! People can't even see you and you will look great in no time!!! Please follow this advise!!! Hiking will make you into a new woman! Also, do you like to take pictures? Bring the camera along to capture all the beautiful things you see! A soon as you start having more self esteem you husband will really enjoy it!
ilovedragonflies6@yahoo.com
You can IM me if you want
Warning: I may not tell you want you want to hear.
damn .. my butt hurts answerin so much (that's where ma brain is)
There are many books and tapes you can borrow for free at your local library to help build your self esteem.That's all you really need and some time to get over him.Everything will work out if you think positive.Try it- It works.Good Luck!
huh my head hurts
Do you have a friend you can talk to? have you tried to look up community services for your state or city? Not-for-profit social service for depression? google those words with you town added maybe that will help. Good Luck ;)
Being alone is scary if you've never done it before. What do you like to do? Find things that you used to do before you were married and go back to that. When I was alone I kept myself busy. I joined a bowling league, I jogged, I went roller skating, I hung out with my gay friends (didn't want to be hit on by straight men at that time), I read a lot of books including some SELF HELP books to deal with low self esteem, break ups, putting you back together..., I went to the movies, I make blankets, I had monthly dinners for my girlfriends (we men bashed, but it was fun)... You see what I'm getting at? Do the things that you really like to do, that you had stopped doing because he didn't want to or he didn't like it or he wanted you home with him. Obviously, you lost yourself in him. So get you back. You may meet the next one while you are out doing your thing. If you get busy, you won't have time to focus on being alone. And don't leave the lines of communication open with him because it will only confuse you. A therapist told me ';you have to shut the revolving door';.
There should be no fear in being alone I've been where you are I thought I couldn't breathe without this person no matter how much she walked on me and without her I'd die I did but now I'm reborn. You were not born with this loser you don't have to die with him life is never over because of age. I think in order to gain esteem you have to believe in yourself if you don't he won't it takes courage and heart. we know you have heart you cared to write this just find the courage. I did you can lol 313
but i saw that most of you said that i have very lowself esteem and i need to get help for this.
how can i get a self help on this and how do i get others to help me to for free.i am a low income and cann't afford to pay someone to help me with this,is there anyone that can help me get through this some how.
i thank you all again over and over and hope to get the right help soon.i don't like feeling this way,i feel i need him to make it and i should know better then that but then you don't have it to live and thats all you have,i'm getting deeper in that low spot,can someone please help me.
i'm 45 and need to be lifted up and find some kind of good in my self and hope for me.
i'm afraied of being alone and don't know if i can do it,if we breakup for good.
someone talk to me.It's me again and i need more help?
I have what I call a pity-party. I only allow myself a certain amount of time, and then I make myself get up and do something.. Dry those tears, and go to the local library, there is lots of good books dealing with low self esteem. Check you out a couple of them. You can live without this man, I am not going to tell you it will be easy, but you can....so, what if you are 45. I am 44, and fixing to be single again, and I know how hard it is. I also know how scared you are. I have been with this man for 27 years, I thought I couldn't breath without him, but you know what I can-and I will. Just like you are! You sound like a wonderful caring person, and I wished you lived near by, and I would kick you in the butt, because that is what my friend did to me. Yes, I gave up, thought of suicide the works, and you know what-no man is worth it....I decided I would be better alone, then sit there and let him rip my heart anymore. I have some good friends and I hope one day I can find a man who will make me forget and love me like I will him. We all deserve that-and that includes you!
So, call a friend, get dressed up and go have a coke or coffee with them. Check into going back to school, you can get grants, and it wouldn't cost you a dime. Join a club. I started taking dance lessons at a local bar, and I am enjoying it. It's free, and I have met some very nice people. It's so scarey till I was shaking, but I am doing it. I have bad days, but I can quarntee you it gets better. I hope he will help you, but if he doesn't want to work at the relationship-then tell him to take a walk. I wish you well, and I will be praying that you find the strength and the courage that you need...still wished you lived next door, because honey I definitely would give you a ear full.....God bless...It's me again and i need more help?
Honey, my pleasure, hope things are looking good now!
Report Abuse
You are contemplating on having cosmetic surgery and paying thousands of dollars for a doctor, but can't afford a shrink? You must be kidding me!?
Your insurance should cover any therapist/psychologist visits. Call your insurance and ask them what's covered and how much the copayment is.
Alone??? With so many millions of people on this planet, ALONE is a matter of perception, a false one at that. Honey, listen! You do NOT need him AND you CAN survive without him. How can you get help? Start by helping yourself. No money required! find a good church, join a good support group, start one for that matter. I said this to someone earlier and I will now say it to you. How people feel about themselves and how others feel about them is all opinion. Where there is one person who thinks of you and treats you one way, there are thousands of untold others who will treat you better. If one person thinks another is better than you, a hundred others will think YOU are the diamond in the rough. You do NOT need this person! NOT when there are so many others out there that will be a thousand times better for you than that! The point is that ONE person does NOT make you who and what you are! YOU DO!!!!! To hades with him! Get out and start over. YOU CAN DO THAT! Yo have options. talk to a clergyman and call around to see what kind of housing options you have. Income based would work until you are on your OWN feet. Start with one thing at a time. YOU CAN do this without him. Surround yourself in friends and a good socail network, like church friends. Change your thinking. YOU have this situation, the SITUATION DOES NOT have YOU! If I can help, I will! If you need a positive friend, you found one! Feel free to e-mail me anytime. s_ransom_2006@yahoo.com! I'm willing to talk and listen and help if I can! God bless and best wishes! good luck!
sometimes it hurts before it feels better, It is going to hurt no matter what. God will never give you more than you can handle. Hold your head up and own the world.. You can make it without someone by your side 24/7. It is called being dependent on yourself. Learn to love yourself, make a list of good things about yourself and go from there. Again, get in touch with you and who you are, If you feel that you can not live without this person, what are you saying about yourself? That you are worthless, that no one will care?? Seriously, no man is worth that, Nobody is worth that, I have been in some pretty low places myself, You DO have the inner strength to pull out of this it will take some time and some SERIOUS PATIENCE with yourself. You will be okay... Everything you do from now on just do it for you... Be selfish for once... Pamper yourself... Look forward to the future not yesterday it is gone and there is nothing you can do to get it back...
Dr. Laura is awesome... you can listen to her on the radio.
However, I personally believe that anything YOU want, you can achieve. Don't rely on others to fulfill your goals and ambitions.
What is your ideal of a confident, secure person with high self-esteem? Do they walk with their heads up, look others in the eyes, smile big when they meet others, shake hands, say what is on their mind, ask for the things they want?
You are no different then the people that act in this manner. Just go out %26amp; do these things. When you are at the grocery store, talk to people... look them in the eye. The more you do these things, the more comfortable you will become, and these actions will become second nature to you.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Don't settle for less. This works in everything from ordering at McDonald's to looking for Mr. Right.
Good luck %26amp; God bless!
Call Dr. Laura or she has tons of good books out
I don't know what your situation is. I feel for you just reading what I did. There are alot of state places that will help you but and this is my opinion there are alot of sites on the web that you can talk to people who are going through what you are. YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE YOU ARE OKAY .Please believe that
Go on a dating site a bar and find a guy dont be with someone elses you know how that would make you feel if your man was cheating dont do it and love will find you. Trust me
You need to go to church, pray ,and fast and assk the lord to guide your steps. remember the footsteps when only one set of footprints were in the sand ? The lord was carrying you and he will again if you put all your faith in him. do not worry about what is or is not beacuse he will not leave yu alone, even when you feel like you are. All you need is faith the size of amustard seed. I can tell yu from experience. The only man you need is GOD Trust and believe. If you have insurance call and ask them for participating counselors and make an app. all you should have to pay is the co-pay for a specialist. that is what i am doing myself right now.Or if you belong to a church make an appointment to see the pastor and talk with him as well.
sweetie you need to stay in prayer and ask for guidance. he will never lead you astray. Then again I am always an e-mail away. try all three.
Good Luck Nad God bless
Charise
That's hard. i've been married for three years and I just now came to the conclusion that if he left I 'd be okay. Well atleast I think so. IM me at marieandlucaspape and tell me more about your situation.
Hi denise,
my cousin paid 3900 dollars in all--for her tummy tuck.it included her 18 day stay also in a deluxe room.
sorry for the delayed reply---you had sent me a mail about this
best wishes
you are a troubled young ladie for sure.I'am 68 and have been around a lot.I really think you need to talk to your doctor or pastor.If you are depressed, they can and will help.you have my E-mail address if you need to talk to a Friend I will be here for you.
I'm not a dirty old man I could be your Friend.Jerry
i tried to help u out but u dient listen to me
I have really low self esteem too. Exercise (and a new outfit every now and then) really helps!! Exercise every single day! If you have really low self esteem and don't want people watching you exercising then go hiking ! People can't even see you and you will look great in no time!!! Please follow this advise!!! Hiking will make you into a new woman! Also, do you like to take pictures? Bring the camera along to capture all the beautiful things you see! A soon as you start having more self esteem you husband will really enjoy it!
ilovedragonflies6@yahoo.com
You can IM me if you want
Warning: I may not tell you want you want to hear.
damn .. my butt hurts answerin so much (that's where ma brain is)
There are many books and tapes you can borrow for free at your local library to help build your self esteem.That's all you really need and some time to get over him.Everything will work out if you think positive.Try it- It works.Good Luck!
huh my head hurts
Do you have a friend you can talk to? have you tried to look up community services for your state or city? Not-for-profit social service for depression? google those words with you town added maybe that will help. Good Luck ;)
Being alone is scary if you've never done it before. What do you like to do? Find things that you used to do before you were married and go back to that. When I was alone I kept myself busy. I joined a bowling league, I jogged, I went roller skating, I hung out with my gay friends (didn't want to be hit on by straight men at that time), I read a lot of books including some SELF HELP books to deal with low self esteem, break ups, putting you back together..., I went to the movies, I make blankets, I had monthly dinners for my girlfriends (we men bashed, but it was fun)... You see what I'm getting at? Do the things that you really like to do, that you had stopped doing because he didn't want to or he didn't like it or he wanted you home with him. Obviously, you lost yourself in him. So get you back. You may meet the next one while you are out doing your thing. If you get busy, you won't have time to focus on being alone. And don't leave the lines of communication open with him because it will only confuse you. A therapist told me ';you have to shut the revolving door';.
There should be no fear in being alone I've been where you are I thought I couldn't breathe without this person no matter how much she walked on me and without her I'd die I did but now I'm reborn. You were not born with this loser you don't have to die with him life is never over because of age. I think in order to gain esteem you have to believe in yourself if you don't he won't it takes courage and heart. we know you have heart you cared to write this just find the courage. I did you can lol 313
Subscribe to:
Posts
(Atom)