Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 6 months and she just ended it today. She said things got boring and that she was sorry and all that crap. And right now im mad more than anything but i know im going to be really down about this in about an hour and i just wanted to know some ways yall cope with a serious breakup.. Please dont answer with Hooking up with someone else, that really doesnt help me.How to get over a longterm relationship breakup?
Give yourself time and patience. Lots of time and patience.
Lose some contact with her. It will help you in the long run. Delete her texts and get rid of photos of stuff that you might have. Delete her off your facebook friends list, and delete her number. It's makes it much easier for you.
Spending time with your friends helps as well. Throw yourself into hobbies and distract yourself with sport and music - improve in those areas.
Perhaps also talking about the situation to a girl friend or someone? They'll be able to help you out.
And also believing deep down that you can get over her. Because honestly, although all hope seems lost right now, life will bring you back something even better soon.
Wishing you well for 2010.How to get over a longterm relationship breakup?
Yeah, really just let things pass. Your going to feel down sometime but the best ways to help are spend some time with your friends or family. If your artsy draw paint or write, i prefer to play music hen im down or mad. And one important thing most people forget is its ok to cry, it helps mentally at least. Just because your a guy doesnt mean you cant cry.
Well not necessarily hook up with somebody else, just date somebody else. Or go on vacation with your friends. Vegas anyone?
just 6 months is not a long term relationship..you should overcome by this situation as soon as possible...try to forget her...just tell your self she wasnt perfect for you or she wasnt of your type...
there are many girls out there...all the best!!!!
Get busy, I used to get very physically active, like I was cycling all the time. With an MP3 and some good music, it made my mind think about something else than her.
Get some new hobbies...
everyone deals with a breakup there own way dont go get all depressed cause honestly she isnt and theres plenty and I MEAN PLENTY of other people out there!! PICK ONE!!!
time dear sir.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How do I make this right? How do I make it go away? If I quit track i lose my friends and my reputation...?
I was going out with whom I truly thought and yet still think to be the love of my life. I met her on the t%26amp;f and XC team and we were both all-stars. Slowly we became best really close and did everything together. Months later on we were at a 4th of July party and I walked over to her and hooked our arms together and leaned on her under the fireworks. From there on everything was great. We were both always there for each other, so in love. 8 months later though, we were just having a minor issue andstart to drift just a bit. Then out of nowhere when things were getting better again,she confronted me and told me that ';it's just not the same as it used to be';, and gave me the';i just want you to be happy'; deal. But what I don't understand it that she didn't even seem to want to fix things. She just was set on a breakup. That only left me to think ';Why was she so quick to breakup? Eye on someone else perhaps. Now its so painful just to be around her. And i want that memory to be gone.How do I make this right? How do I make it go away? If I quit track i lose my friends and my reputation...?
its really sad! SORRY TO HEAR THAT BUT IF I WERE YOU I WOULD WAIT ON HER IF YOU LOVED HER THAT MUCH, I have a friend whom is waitinhg for me now 10 years and contunue to waitHow do I make this right? How do I make it go away? If I quit track i lose my friends and my reputation...?
No truer words were ever said than ';Time heals all wounds.';
Believe it or not, this will pass and you will have learned something from it.
I know that this is hard for you but remember that it was an experience and you will have more. Try not to be serious too soon. Take care of yourself.
';I just want you to be happy'; is code for a lot of things, it could mean ';I'm just not interested'; or ';Try harder you're losing me'; whatever it is either you fix it or let go.
If you choose to fix it because she says she wants you to be happy you could always tell her that it's her that makes you happy
If you choose to let go.... well then you just have to let go, there's nothing more you can do if you're not going to pursue this any further. So try this for letting it go, do a lot to distract you, play sports, watch sports, go out with the guys, do guy stuff, and if you find that you can't seem to stop thinking about her tell her that, maybe she'll realize that you really care.
You sound like a great guy and I wish you only the best of luck.african american hair skin care
its really sad! SORRY TO HEAR THAT BUT IF I WERE YOU I WOULD WAIT ON HER IF YOU LOVED HER THAT MUCH, I have a friend whom is waitinhg for me now 10 years and contunue to waitHow do I make this right? How do I make it go away? If I quit track i lose my friends and my reputation...?
No truer words were ever said than ';Time heals all wounds.';
Believe it or not, this will pass and you will have learned something from it.
I know that this is hard for you but remember that it was an experience and you will have more. Try not to be serious too soon. Take care of yourself.
';I just want you to be happy'; is code for a lot of things, it could mean ';I'm just not interested'; or ';Try harder you're losing me'; whatever it is either you fix it or let go.
If you choose to fix it because she says she wants you to be happy you could always tell her that it's her that makes you happy
If you choose to let go.... well then you just have to let go, there's nothing more you can do if you're not going to pursue this any further. So try this for letting it go, do a lot to distract you, play sports, watch sports, go out with the guys, do guy stuff, and if you find that you can't seem to stop thinking about her tell her that, maybe she'll realize that you really care.
You sound like a great guy and I wish you only the best of luck.
How to win back your boyfriend after a breakup even if he is with someone else.?
My boyfriend met another woman who pushed him into marrying her. He felt that after our last argument and I told him to leave, he thought I did not want him anymore. He is still in love with me and the other woman knows about us. He is not planning to say with her if I will forgive him and take him back. He asked me to give him 6months to get out of it, so we can be together again and make plans for us. I don't know how to do that without feeling can I trust him again. Where do I start so that he knows I am serious. I hope this make sense to you guys.How to win back your boyfriend after a breakup even if he is with someone else.?
if he's lying to his fiance or whatever she is, how do you know he's not lying to you? hmm, this is a toughie, but he doesn't look like a winner....How to win back your boyfriend after a breakup even if he is with someone else.?
If he loves you, why does he need 6 months?
if he's lying to his fiance or whatever she is, how do you know he's not lying to you? hmm, this is a toughie, but he doesn't look like a winner....How to win back your boyfriend after a breakup even if he is with someone else.?
If he loves you, why does he need 6 months?
When you call someone after a not-so-clear breakup just to make sure.....?
I was with someone for a short period of time, we had a nice time and then stopped seeing each other. We spoke on the phone a couple of months afterwards and he wasn't making anything clear! In fact, he kept saying ';eeeeer, hmmmm, you know...yeah'; He's on his mid thirties so I can't think of a reason he'd be so shy or whatever the **** he was. How would you interpret such behavior?When you call someone after a not-so-clear breakup just to make sure.....?
Mid-life crisis
Mid-life crisis
Breakup, advice on how to get over someone?
does anyone have a ny real good advice on how to get over a breakup from experience, not the usual it takes time or spend time with family. I need more than that, thanks :) xBreakup, advice on how to get over someone?
Hi sweetheart, I strongly recommend this book:
It's Called A Break-up Because It's Broken'; :http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup鈥?/a>
It is extremely helpful. It is better to read it when you are READY to move on though. Otherwise, visit this forum:
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forumdisp鈥?/a>
If you are truly ready to move on, buy the book. If you can't afford it, I'll quickly outline why it'll help. The book is split into 2 halves; the break-up and the break-over. The break-up half deals with the break-up of the relationship and gives you harsh but honest answers. You have to accept what they tell you because although sometimes ugly, the truth is reality. The 2nd half will make you feel a hell of a lot better. The breakover half deals with you moving on with YOUR life and it is a lot of fun and comforting to read.
The breakover half advises you to follow 7 rules to help you to recover:
1) No contact for at least 60 days. This means no facebook stalking, blocking on messenger, no accepting contact from his end etc. NOTHING. Cold turkey. And this in my personal experience is actually the one thing you HAVE to do because it honestly is the only way to save yourself.
2) Get yourself a ';break up buddy';- someone who is willing to support you and be there for you when you feel low, someone who'll stop you from reaching out to your ex when you feel the urge.
3) Get rid of his stuff and everything that reminds you of him - the really special things that you'll want to look at in 10 years time; box them and put them in the attic. Don't you dare look at them till you're 100% over the ex. There's no point in torturing oneself. Change your surroundings , rearrange the furniture so it looks different as opposed to ';so empty without him';.
4)GET MOVING - get active, exercise, do something fun everyday. This point doesn't really need explaining why it'll help
5) Don't wear your breakup out into the world - play your poker face. Cry in private. Don't leave the house in anything you wouldn't want to run into your ex wearing. They make nice, sexy tracksuits for lazy days.
6) NO BACKSLIDING ; no going back, no ';one last kiss'; and no ';one last round of breakup sex.'; If you've experienced a relapse you will know exactly why backsliding is a huge mistake. Don't do it. Do not be a dog and settle for scraps,
7) Learn to put yourself first : when you develop love for yourself, and TRUE love, not just ';meh I'm allright I suppose.'; This is when you find happiness. You don't find it in a lover; you find it in yourself first. Self-love is the cake, a lover is frosting. This is essential. This breakup is not just the breakup of a relationship, it is a chance to become the person you have always wanted to be. Do not waste the opportunity to transform. Think of a beautiful, sexy, sleek, powerful Lhamborgini. This is you. Your ex and the relationship is mud, dust and dirt coating that beautiful car in filth. Let go off the coating of crap that is clouding you, and let yourself shine.Breakup, advice on how to get over someone?
Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with ';what-ifs';.
Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another, do just that: stop.
Sometimes it helps to listen to music that matches your feelings because you have stored up grief that needs a trigger to help you release it. But beware of wallowing. After a certain point, you're not helping yourself by going through it all again and again with the sad songs. Stephen Sondheim reminds us in his song ';Into the Woods';: ';Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!'; You can think of the grieving part of your process as ';the woods';: you may have to ';go there';, but you definitely shouldn't live there.
Remember those old catch phrases: ';What doesn't kill you makes you stronger';, ';Everything happens for a reason';, ';There are other fish in the sea'; and most of all, ';This too shall pass';. When you go through a breakup or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding real happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include other romantic relationships or an eventual long-term union. Whatever happens is okay, no matter what you choose to do in life.
As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together will creep in, distracting you from the work of healing. Such fantasizing gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.
If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself: if s/he said s/he wanted you back, would you really want him or her? Would you ever trust him not to break your heart again? Would you be hurt, angry, distrustful when he is 10 minutes late calling you, wondering where she is, who he is with? Though you may believe that the answer to all your prayers would be a reconciliation with your ex, if it did happen, you might find that Mr. Spock from Star Trek was right when he said ';You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.';
Freedom from fear is what you get when you end a relationship with a cheater. Sometimes the most liberating phase of a post-betrayal breakup is the sudden realization that you are no longer sitting at home waiting for a phone call, spending the evening obsessively searching for evidence of an affair, or just imagining what might be going on behind your back - you're done with all that! The one deserving person you need to take care of now is yourself, and it is so much easier to relax and just love yourself when you're not in constant fear. Count this as a gigantic blessing!
Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.
Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Endure. Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.
This one can't be repeated enough: It's a good time to try something new. Try a new hobby, a style, a sport. It'll keep you going and moving on and if your brain is circling endlessly, obsessing on the details of your pain, learning something new will interrupt the repetitive cycle. Those dusty,rusty old gears need some fresh air and polish!
If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's myspace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the Firefox extension, blocksite, which allows you to block the URL to that profile. Sometimes it also helps to take them off your 'Friends' list, or 'de-friend' them, at least for a while. Even if things ended on a clean slate, it can be too painful to see what the other person is up to.
Your partner has a right to choose to be or not to be with you. Respect the decision. If your partner digs at you again, do behave with dignity. Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.
Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time
sometimes i think we find it harder to get over someone than we should because we dont want to get over them. cos we still care about them and cant let them go.
try to make a decision to do this for yourself if you feel like that. go out with friends and enjoy yourself if you can and they are willing to take you. try not to go on about your ex all the time with mates tho as they can switch off or get fed up. talk to them about it only if youre in dire need or they ask you, and even then keep it as short as you can.
if seeing your ex hurts you then dont. dont go to the same places for a while if poss, or dont look at their facebook prof..delete them if necessary. try a change of scene. go on a trip somewhere where theres no memories or anything to remind you.
have a good cry when you need to but allow yourself to laugh to. is your ex letting you get over them - ie leaving you alone? if so make the most of that. if theyre not, or if theyre purposely upsetting you and rubbing your nose in the fact that its ended, dont retaliate. take yourself away from those situations as much as possible.
be kind to yourself and tell yourself that whatever went wrong and whoevers to blame, something good is always in the future and you WILL feel better eventually. Good luck x
keep yourself busy and go out partying with your friends. try and forget about that person, however hard it may be. speak to different guys/girls and maybe go on a few dates to try something new, and you may find someone else. good luck cx
There's no real advice, except time itself. You can either give it sometime or you can keep on being depressed over it. In either case you'll get over it after a while eventually.
Hi sweetheart, I strongly recommend this book:
It's Called A Break-up Because It's Broken'; :http://www.amazon.com/Its-Called-Breakup鈥?/a>
It is extremely helpful. It is better to read it when you are READY to move on though. Otherwise, visit this forum:
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forumdisp鈥?/a>
If you are truly ready to move on, buy the book. If you can't afford it, I'll quickly outline why it'll help. The book is split into 2 halves; the break-up and the break-over. The break-up half deals with the break-up of the relationship and gives you harsh but honest answers. You have to accept what they tell you because although sometimes ugly, the truth is reality. The 2nd half will make you feel a hell of a lot better. The breakover half deals with you moving on with YOUR life and it is a lot of fun and comforting to read.
The breakover half advises you to follow 7 rules to help you to recover:
1) No contact for at least 60 days. This means no facebook stalking, blocking on messenger, no accepting contact from his end etc. NOTHING. Cold turkey. And this in my personal experience is actually the one thing you HAVE to do because it honestly is the only way to save yourself.
2) Get yourself a ';break up buddy';- someone who is willing to support you and be there for you when you feel low, someone who'll stop you from reaching out to your ex when you feel the urge.
3) Get rid of his stuff and everything that reminds you of him - the really special things that you'll want to look at in 10 years time; box them and put them in the attic. Don't you dare look at them till you're 100% over the ex. There's no point in torturing oneself. Change your surroundings , rearrange the furniture so it looks different as opposed to ';so empty without him';.
4)GET MOVING - get active, exercise, do something fun everyday. This point doesn't really need explaining why it'll help
5) Don't wear your breakup out into the world - play your poker face. Cry in private. Don't leave the house in anything you wouldn't want to run into your ex wearing. They make nice, sexy tracksuits for lazy days.
6) NO BACKSLIDING ; no going back, no ';one last kiss'; and no ';one last round of breakup sex.'; If you've experienced a relapse you will know exactly why backsliding is a huge mistake. Don't do it. Do not be a dog and settle for scraps,
7) Learn to put yourself first : when you develop love for yourself, and TRUE love, not just ';meh I'm allright I suppose.'; This is when you find happiness. You don't find it in a lover; you find it in yourself first. Self-love is the cake, a lover is frosting. This is essential. This breakup is not just the breakup of a relationship, it is a chance to become the person you have always wanted to be. Do not waste the opportunity to transform. Think of a beautiful, sexy, sleek, powerful Lhamborgini. This is you. Your ex and the relationship is mud, dust and dirt coating that beautiful car in filth. Let go off the coating of crap that is clouding you, and let yourself shine.Breakup, advice on how to get over someone?
Walk out of your heartache, knowing that you have done all that you can do, said all that you can say, and given as much as you can give. When you feel that you did your part as best you could, but he or she didn't meet you halfway, then you will not need to torture yourself with ';what-ifs';.
Remember that your ex may be trying to get over you, as well. Be sensitive to that, and keep your distance. If you've decided to stop seeing one another, do just that: stop.
Sometimes it helps to listen to music that matches your feelings because you have stored up grief that needs a trigger to help you release it. But beware of wallowing. After a certain point, you're not helping yourself by going through it all again and again with the sad songs. Stephen Sondheim reminds us in his song ';Into the Woods';: ';Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!'; You can think of the grieving part of your process as ';the woods';: you may have to ';go there';, but you definitely shouldn't live there.
Remember those old catch phrases: ';What doesn't kill you makes you stronger';, ';Everything happens for a reason';, ';There are other fish in the sea'; and most of all, ';This too shall pass';. When you go through a breakup or some other emotionally challenging time in your life, you're actually getting closer to finding real happiness because you are getting to know your true inner self. This may or may not include other romantic relationships or an eventual long-term union. Whatever happens is okay, no matter what you choose to do in life.
As simple as this sounds, be clear to yourself that you are actually breaking up. Too often the thoughts of possibly being back together will creep in, distracting you from the work of healing. Such fantasizing gradually eats at you and destroys your emotional well being. Accept the truth of your situation, and commit to it.
If your ex has left you for another person then ask yourself: if s/he said s/he wanted you back, would you really want him or her? Would you ever trust him not to break your heart again? Would you be hurt, angry, distrustful when he is 10 minutes late calling you, wondering where she is, who he is with? Though you may believe that the answer to all your prayers would be a reconciliation with your ex, if it did happen, you might find that Mr. Spock from Star Trek was right when he said ';You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.';
Freedom from fear is what you get when you end a relationship with a cheater. Sometimes the most liberating phase of a post-betrayal breakup is the sudden realization that you are no longer sitting at home waiting for a phone call, spending the evening obsessively searching for evidence of an affair, or just imagining what might be going on behind your back - you're done with all that! The one deserving person you need to take care of now is yourself, and it is so much easier to relax and just love yourself when you're not in constant fear. Count this as a gigantic blessing!
Keep your dignity. Many times, it's our own ego that causes the pain; we feel rejected and deceived, embarrassed. We doubt our self worth and adequacy. A breakup, especially one in which your partner has cheated on you, can really undermine your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment - volunteer, take a class, do things that remind you of your value as a person.
Remember that this pain just has to be survived. It takes a season of time to heal, like a broken arm - there is no magical, instant cure or relief. You won't die from it, though you may feel like you will for a time. Endure. Eventually you will feel better, the pain will lessen, and you will be able to love again.
This one can't be repeated enough: It's a good time to try something new. Try a new hobby, a style, a sport. It'll keep you going and moving on and if your brain is circling endlessly, obsessing on the details of your pain, learning something new will interrupt the repetitive cycle. Those dusty,rusty old gears need some fresh air and polish!
If you find yourself compulsively checking your ex's myspace, Facebook, or any other social networking profile, help yourself out and use the Firefox extension, blocksite, which allows you to block the URL to that profile. Sometimes it also helps to take them off your 'Friends' list, or 'de-friend' them, at least for a while. Even if things ended on a clean slate, it can be too painful to see what the other person is up to.
Your partner has a right to choose to be or not to be with you. Respect the decision. If your partner digs at you again, do behave with dignity. Taking the high road may be hard now, but you'll be glad later that you didn't stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.
Every day, find something that will make you smile. Smiling really helps, even at the worst time
sometimes i think we find it harder to get over someone than we should because we dont want to get over them. cos we still care about them and cant let them go.
try to make a decision to do this for yourself if you feel like that. go out with friends and enjoy yourself if you can and they are willing to take you. try not to go on about your ex all the time with mates tho as they can switch off or get fed up. talk to them about it only if youre in dire need or they ask you, and even then keep it as short as you can.
if seeing your ex hurts you then dont. dont go to the same places for a while if poss, or dont look at their facebook prof..delete them if necessary. try a change of scene. go on a trip somewhere where theres no memories or anything to remind you.
have a good cry when you need to but allow yourself to laugh to. is your ex letting you get over them - ie leaving you alone? if so make the most of that. if theyre not, or if theyre purposely upsetting you and rubbing your nose in the fact that its ended, dont retaliate. take yourself away from those situations as much as possible.
be kind to yourself and tell yourself that whatever went wrong and whoevers to blame, something good is always in the future and you WILL feel better eventually. Good luck x
keep yourself busy and go out partying with your friends. try and forget about that person, however hard it may be. speak to different guys/girls and maybe go on a few dates to try something new, and you may find someone else. good luck cx
There's no real advice, except time itself. You can either give it sometime or you can keep on being depressed over it. In either case you'll get over it after a while eventually.
Tips on letting go of someone you love? (breakups)?
to make a long story short, my ex was addicted to cocaine/alcohol it caused him to be hot and cold, and love me one day break up with me the next. for all the love and care i put into that relationship to feel people can be so cold and heartless its unbelieveable! its been a week and ive struggled yet sucseeded in not calling or texting him. How do you let go when you love the person so much but questions their love for you? Is it best to keep no contact, or wait a few weeks and try?Tips on letting go of someone you love? (breakups)?
honestly..its hard to let go of something you care about....no matter what...so give it a while and see what happens..i kno that it will be tough but...if you love him then you will allow him sometime to himself! good luck!~]
honestly..its hard to let go of something you care about....no matter what...so give it a while and see what happens..i kno that it will be tough but...if you love him then you will allow him sometime to himself! good luck!~]
Tips on letting go of someone u love (breakups)?
to make a long story short, my ex was addicted to cocaine/alcohol it caused him to be hot and cold, and love me one day break up with me the next. for all the love and care i put into that relationship to feel people can be so cold and heartless its unbelieveable! its been a week and ive struggled yet sucseeded in not calling or texting him. How do you let go when you love the person so much but questions their love for you? Is it best to keep no contact, or wait a few weeks and try?Tips on letting go of someone u love (breakups)?
dnt contact with him.he cant make u happy.addicted boys r just jerk.they will never understand ur feelings.and they can leave u for drugsTips on letting go of someone u love (breakups)?
1. It takes time to heal especially when you have been with someone for a long time.
2. When you have give yourself time to heal, you will look back and see how damaging he was to your relationship, and you will move on.
3. You will never forget your first love, but given time you will get over him.
4. Yes it is best to end all contact the more distance between you two the easier it is to get over him.
whatever you do dont text him. or call him.that will make things alot worse. it takes a long time. but it eventually fades away. get rid of everything that reminds you of him. find a new person.
You shouldn't love in the first place. It just leads to difficulty. Having sex is the only good reason to be in a relationship.
Was or still is addicted? Break up with him. It may be hard but its hurting you more
Am in a similar situation but I think its best to keep no contact although am finding it hard to do that myself..lol..
goodluck x
dnt contact with him.he cant make u happy.addicted boys r just jerk.they will never understand ur feelings.and they can leave u for drugsTips on letting go of someone u love (breakups)?
1. It takes time to heal especially when you have been with someone for a long time.
2. When you have give yourself time to heal, you will look back and see how damaging he was to your relationship, and you will move on.
3. You will never forget your first love, but given time you will get over him.
4. Yes it is best to end all contact the more distance between you two the easier it is to get over him.
whatever you do dont text him. or call him.that will make things alot worse. it takes a long time. but it eventually fades away. get rid of everything that reminds you of him. find a new person.
You shouldn't love in the first place. It just leads to difficulty. Having sex is the only good reason to be in a relationship.
Was or still is addicted? Break up with him. It may be hard but its hurting you more
Am in a similar situation but I think its best to keep no contact although am finding it hard to do that myself..lol..
goodluck x
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