How do you end a 15 year relationship?

i have been married for 15 years and had 4 kidss at the ten year mark together.i just recently found out that my husband fathered another child after our four was born.and that he has cheated multiple times after we were married.now i am mad as hell,but their are kids involved and they are all teenagers 16-15-14-12.i do not want to scar them with fighting so i am keeping quiet.


i have never actually had to breakup with someone before and i surely want out of this marriage.please help me in ways to break it off.without damaging my kids in the process.i have tried already since august past and my son freaked out on me and wanted me to let my husband back in the house. so i did...i know mistake.it has to be done some way when the kids are not home and not around.but i do not want to leave my home cause i run a business through it so i can`t just walk out with the children.How do you end a 15 year relationship?
First let me say I am sorry for your troubles. There is nothing worse than a mate breaking faith with you, and the addition of children makes it a double betrayal.





You must not leave your home. You are not at fault and it is your children's home also. Perhaps you should choose a neutral meeting place where it would be difficult for you and your husband to have an emotional scene. You must, if you can, be assertive and composed (even though when I am angry or broken-hearted, the tears will come in spite of everything I do!). He is at fault here, not you. He should be the one to leave; if he and/or you feel there is a chance that the marriage will work, then you must seek counseling. There is the possibility that your husband has issues (well, duh) and that the two of you can only work this out before a neutral third party. It will at least let you air your grievances in a safe setting and a therapist or counselor will keep everyone on task.





Children are exceedingly resiliant. If it is possible that you can both sit down with them and explain that while you and your husband still like and respect each other (even if its a total lie on your part), you can no longer live together. Your children are probably wiser than we were at their age and have seen that marriage is not the permanent institution that it has been in the past. It would be more harmful for you and your husband to stay together for the sake of the children, because no matter how quiet you are keeping, the pain and frustration will bleed through. They must be reassured that they are loved by both of you and that this break up is in no way their fault.





It is also possible that at some point in the future your children might want to meet their half-sibling. Now is the time when the groundwork can be laid. They will not be teenagers forever and young adults tend to be curious about these things.





There is no way that anyone gets out of this without pain, but if it is handled compassionately on the part of the adults, the children will not be permanently damaged. They will learn that relationships are not always forever. I assume they are not aware of your husband's infidelity, but if they are, he shouldn't be villified - it should be known that even though he has broken your trust and perhaps your heart, that to err is human. The divinity in forgiveness is up to you.





I wish you the best.How do you end a 15 year relationship?
I don't know what state you live in and laws vary from state to state, but you could file for divorce, ask him to leave or wait until the court orders him to leave and get on with it.





There are no easy ways out of a relationship and the kids will just have to adjust. Yours will not be the first, nor will they be the last. Take control of your life and if you don't want your lying, cheating husband around any longer, then it is your choice, not your son's.
start by getting a goooood lawyer - then have him served with the divorce petition - and get yourself and all the kids into counseling
I'd solve that problem real quick. I'd freak out more than the kids would.
WOW DEB D hit the nail on the head. when you throw your husband out also remember you are the head of the household now and your children are under you and they don't tell you what to do, so if you thorw him out don't let the kids talk you back into letting him back in. stand firm be tough maybe tougher then you have ahd to be in your life





good luck
Then you need to seek counsel from a lawyer on the best way to make your husband leave, so that you can maintain the house with the children in it. There is no easy way for kids to handle divorce... none at all. If you are scared of their reactions to it, then seek some counseling from a professional on how best to talk to them about the situation. Best of luck to you.... Be strong!!!
It would be best to try and work it out for the kids sake. However cheating is a unforgivable act and I'm sure it's tough for you. The children are old enough to understand though. Follow your heart and do what it tells you. Good Luck
Explain to your children that their job is to learn how to be good, responsible adults so they can live their own lives one day and be happy. Tell them you have that right as well, that you are miserable because your husband betrayed you (highlight the difference - make them realize he is their father but he's your husband and you are a person with feelings). Make it clear that is between you and your husband, they are not to feel responsible for it or try to do anything about it, but that you have a right to enjoy your life as well. Practice what you're going to say and be firm. Remember, you have to lay down to be a doormat. Teach your children to stand up for themselves by example. Let your husband be the one to teach them what happens when you shirk committment, responsibility and betray your wife and family. I wouldn't comment too much on what he did to them, just let them know he broke your marriage bonds, not you. Check out the info below.