Monday, August 16, 2010

Is my boyfriend gay? This is the most messed up relationship ever. When I met him he claimed to be gay...?

he had had experiences (oral sex only) with men but he was not feminine at all, plays hockey, doesnt know how to dress, geeky type, so we started getting close, first as friends, he would come over and we would sleep in the same bed and I noticed he would get aroused, but I didnt say anything and I made it clear we were just friends, this friendship continued for about a year and he never said anything but we were very close, during this time he had an encounter with a man and picked him up right infront of me and it hurt me so much, 2 days after this my mother suddenly passed away and he came to my house, got on his knees and begged for my forgivness, he said he was sorry and he wanted to be there for me (strange because it wasnt as if we were going out so why would he be sorry), he helped me through my hard times and then ( 3 months latter) I sensed agression from him and one night we got into a fight and I asked him what he wanted and he said ';you'; and we kissed!....fast forward 3 years latter, we are intimate, we have never had problems, our relationship is strong, he says it was a phase but within these three years a bomb gets dropped, he reveals that he was molsted by an older guy that was friend of the family when he was 6, the man forced him to perform oral sex,he had never told his parents and this man was still in their lives, so this all comes out its a big shock to his family and he starts going to a shrink, then a few months in we get into a fight and he tells me that he has been fantisizing about performing oral sex to older men and that he thought he was gay, he wasnt attracted to boys his age or anal sex just doing this to older men, so we talk about it and he then changes his mind, that it was his abuse that caused confusion, after that everything was fine, it was still a sore spot and it would fight about it with him but he just kept telling me to get over it....this happened last year now he just broke up with me for no reason, we had a fight and he just said I dont love you anymore, get out of my life (a day before he said he couldnt sleep without me and loved me with all his heart), I want to be able to be free, since then he has moved out and not contacted me since, he even ignores me when he sees me! I asked him if this was about him being gay and he said no (in an anoyed and angrey way), he just wants to be alone, I also asked him if he would be with other girls and he said he was only 20. What the heck is going on, is he gay? Why would someone breakup out of the blue? Can a person just become ';un-gay';? What role does his abuse have on his sexuality?Is my boyfriend gay? This is the most messed up relationship ever. When I met him he claimed to be gay...?
Thats hard to diagnose. He is obviously physciologicaly and physcially confused of his sexuality because what that friend made him do to him. Because of those past experiences his brain may be telling him its right to be with an older man since that is how is sexual life was started while his heart is telling him he wants to be with you. Confusing stuff huh? Thats what happends when molestation happends. You may never know, but good look!Is my boyfriend gay? This is the most messed up relationship ever. When I met him he claimed to be gay...?
Sweetie, you can't be un gay. Maybe he is bi. But he does have a attraction to guys. So. I do believe that boy is gay. :( Sorry.
Most probably!
maybe he's bisexual ?

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